


Odds Are

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Home and Away [28]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:10:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard, There's a man who leads a life of danger / To everyone he meets he stays a stranger / With every move he makes / Another chance he takes / Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow - (Johnny Rivers)"John Sheppard and some friends come home on leave, and Kathy tries to puzzle him out.Set during Brain Storm S5.





	

Kathy had never known what to make of her husband’s older brother. When she and Dave started dating in high school, John was already far away at Stanford, and her earliest memories of John were of him, slender and silent, lingering in the corners of conversations, sipping at his coffee to hide his amused smirk. When he and Nancy married, of course Kathy was Dave’s date to the wedding, and seeing John in his fancy officer uniform, smiling and happy and dancing with Nancy made Kathy think that John wasn’t just aloof and cold. He was stationed all over the world, but as Kathy and Dave’s relationship progressed, he and Nancy made it a point to attend all of the important events - Dave’s graduation from college, Dave and Kathy’s engagement party, their wedding, Dave’s graduation from grad school. Both Anna and Clara’s births.

At first, Kathy had been surprised at how charming and sociable John was. She supposed she ought not to have been surprised, because Dave and Patrick were both very charming and sociable as well. John had this amazing skill at making everyone in a conversation feel important, like they were the center of attention, interesting. Once contact with John dropped off and his marriage to Nancy dissolved, Kathy could see John’s charm for what it really was: deflection. He rarely spoke about himself, always had questions about someone’s hobbies or work, and people were so caught up in the attention - and John’s smile - that they didn’t realize they were learning nothing about him.

Kathy knew John’s relationship with Patrick was “difficult” and “complicated”, that John played the guitar, and that he liked Ferris Wheels and anything that went over two hundred miles an hour, and that was about all she knew.

When he came to visit after Patrick’s funeral, Kathy was wary of him, of how things were between him and Dave and, more importantly, how he’d treat Anna and Clara. Kathy desperately wanted to believe that his kindness and affection toward them was real, but she had no way of knowing, because his charming smile was as impenetrable as ever. What had surprised Kathy was John’s friend, Ronon, who looked like a giant thug but was surprisingly sweet and playful with the girls. As predicted, he had terrible horsemanship, but he took John’s ribbing good-naturedly. He gave the girls piggy-back rides and let them touch his hair and performed acrobatic tricks for them, and Kathy wondered if he’d ever had children of his own. All John had explained in brief terms was that Ronon had been in the military in his country, and his country had been wiped out in silent genocide - not the kind reported on the news - and now he had no one. Kathy was pretty sure that quiet disclosure had been a kindness on John’s part, to protect Ronon from any awkward and potentially painful questions. The girls had missed Uncle Ronon after he left, and they often sent him messages in their weekly emails to John.

The weekly emails had been surprising. John sent one to the family as a whole. He was always vague about what he was doing at work, where he was posted, and Kathy saw his deflective charm all over again. How was the company doing? How were Kathy’s charities? How were the girls doing in school? Was Anna taking good care of Pegasus the Pony?

When Kathy approached Nancy about what she knew of John’s classified work, Nancy laughed and shook her head.

“If there is one thing John Sheppard respects more than anything else in the world, it’s the classified nature of his work. Nothing can break that. Nothing. Not even family.”

And it was Kathy’s turn to deftly deflect the conversation to somewhere less volatile.

When Anna and Clara asked for a picture of John to show off at school during Show and Tell one day, John admitted he had few pictures of himself but managed to dig up one that was several years old from his promotion ceremony to Lieutenant Colonel. John did look incredibly dashing in his uniform. John also had an awful lot of decorations on his jacket. Kathy couldn’t begin to guess what they meant, but she didn’t think John got them by sitting around at a desk all day, like his emails seemed to imply.

Anna and Clara were delighted and excited when John said he had annual leave coming up, and he was wondering if he could come visit and bring some friends with him, including Uncle Ronon. Dave said John and all his friends were welcome, just let him know how many rooms the house staff needed to make up, and apart from the annual shareholders’ meeting, Dave could take a couple of weeks off work for the family to have time together. John replied that he’d be bringing his friends Ronon, Rodney, and Evan with him, and Rodney and Evan would probably take off halfway through to go see their own families, but he was excited to see everyone.

Kathy hoped that was true. Whatever her misgivings were, she had the maids prepare John’s old room and three more guest rooms. Anna practiced her horsemanship obsessively so she could show off for Uncle John, and Clara, who’d just started to learn to play piano, practiced a song for him as well.

*

John’s arrival was - unexpected. Dave had waited anxiously for the phone call, to go send the driver out to the airport. Instead, everyone was gathered in the family room, Anna and Clara coloring, Kathy reading a magazine, Dave pretending to read a book and instead checking his cell phone like a teenage girl waiting for a call from her high school crush. The doorbell rang, and Dave frowned.

“Were you expecting someone?” he asked Kathy.

She shook her head, but Anna and Clara abandoned their coloring books and bolted for the front door.

Maria, the chief housemaid, said, “No, Miss Anna, Miss Clara -”

But then Anna cried, “Uncle John!” and Kathy heard John said, “Hey, girls, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

Dave was on his feet and heading for the door with impressive speed. Kathy followed. John and Ronon stood on the doorstep with two other men, one of whom wore a uniform like the John, the other of whom wore khakis and a button-down shirt. All of them looked exhausted.

Dave pulled John into a hug. John looked startled, but he hugged Dave back. The other three men looked startled as well, but said nothing.

“Hi, Uncle Ronon!” Clara piped up, and Ronon knelt down and let both girls swarm him.

“Dave, Kathy, this is Rodney McKay, one of our civilian contractors, and Major Evan Lorne, my second-in-command.”

Rodney had thinning hair but bright blue eyes and broad shoulders, a firm handshake. “Dr. Rodney McKay,” he said, and Major Lorne rolled his eyes. “But you can call me Rodney.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Kathy said. “What is your doctorate in?”

“Physics and engineering.”

Dave raised his eyebrows. “You have two doctorates?”

“Some people had friends in college. I had - studying.” Rodney actually blushed a little.

Dave offered his hand to Major Lorne. “You’re John’s 2IC? Should you be on leave at the same time?”

Shadows crossed the man’s face for an instant. “Major Teldy is holding down the fort in our place. Sometimes it’s good to let the other officers stretch their wings.”

Kathy shook hands with him. “You’re a pilot as well?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Major Lorne’s handshake was firm but brief. “Fixed wing, not rotor like Colonel Sheppard.”

“We’re on leave,” John said. “You can call me John, you know.”

“Don’t know that I ever could, sir.” He smiled at Kathy, and he had dimples. “Please, call me Lorne. It’s what everyone calls me.”

“Not Evan?” Kathy asked.

Rodney frowned. “Who’s Evan?”

Ronon stared at him. “Lorne.”

“What about Lorne?”

“His first name is Evan,” Ronon said.

“Lorne’s first name is Major,” Rodney protested.

Lorne sighed. “Really, Lorne is fine.” He crouched down so he was eye-level with Anna and Clara. He shook their hands and smiled at them. “Hi, I’m Lorne. I work with your Uncle John. I just wanted to say - that video you made for him was really nice, and it made a lot of my soldiers smile, so thank you.”

What video? Kathy wondered.

Lorne reached into his duffel bag and drew out two beautiful hand-woven bracelets. “A couple of little girls who live out near our base made these for me to bring to you.”

Anna and Clara lit up, fell gleefully upon the bracelets and vied for Lorne to adorn each of them first.

Kathy opened her mouth for a gentle reminder at manners, but both girls chorused, “Thank you!”

“Suck-up,” Rodney muttered.

“I have a niece and nephew,” Lorne said, once he straightened up. “Did you remember a gift for your niece?”

Rodney turned an interesting shade of red.

“You should have called, I’d have sent a car,” Dave said, leading John into the house.

“We rented a car,” John said. “We don’t get to drive ourselves often out where we are and -”

“Pilots are control freaks and prefer to be at the wheel,” Lorne said.

John shot him a look. Lorne smiled innocently.

Anna and Clara dragged Ronon ahead to show him to his room, which was the same guest room he’d had the last time.

Dave hung back and let Kathy show each man to his room. Rodney peered into John’s room with great interest.

“This was where you grew up? Where are your Johnny Cash posters?”

“In my quarters on base,” John said.

“All your life, and you only ever had one Johnny Cash poster?” Rodney raised his eyebrows.

“John always was pretty - spartan, with his possessions,” Dave said. “Ironic, given how much he could have accumulated.”

“This is great, Kathy.” John smiled at her. “Thanks.”

“Rodney, your room is here, on the other side of Ronon’s, and Lorne, your room is the furthest from the stairs, unfortunately.”

“If there’s a fire, I’ll just jump out the window,” Lorne said easily. Kathy wasn’t sure if he was joking. “This room is lovely. Thank you very much.” He set down his duffel bag and sat on the edge of the bed, and his eyes fluttered closed. “Oh, man. A real mattress. Thank the stars.” He opened his eyes and smiled at Kathy. “Thank you so much for having us. We really appreciate it.”

“We’re always glad to have John and his friends.” Kathy smiled back at him. Once she was sure Ronon was settled into his room - and that the girls weren’t bothering him - she bustled downstairs to the kitchens to make sure dinner preparations were properly underway.

John and Lorne had changed out of their uniforms for dinner. Kathy had, of a kindness, suspended the requirement that the family dress for dinner each evening, knowing that John and his friends had limited luggage space when they traveled and were probably glad to be done with uniforms as it was. At dinner, John was as charming as ever, catching up with the girls in real time. Kathy knew Ronon was laconic from his last visit, so she tried to engage with Rodney and Lorne, hoping to learn some more about John in the process.

As it turned out, the base where John was stationed was actually a civilian-run research outpost, with collaboration from many countries. Rodney was Canadian and proud of it. Half of the staff was dedicated to maintaining the base - food and supplies, cleanliness, energy, security, and half of the staff was part of research teams who ventured out into the surrounding area. Rodney and Ronon were on John’s research team, and Lorne had his own research team, though his scientist was a botanist.

Dave blinked. “I didn’t realize botany was so important to the military.”

Rodney made a derisive sound but said nothing.

Lorne cleared his throat. “Many modern pharmaceuticals are based on bioactive compounds found in rare plant life. Maintaining a strong and healthy population is vital to national security. But Rodney’s team is devoted to finding sources of clean, renewable energy, which is a lot more exciting.”

Dave smiled. “At Sheppard Industries, our R&D department is interested in the same sort of thing. Most of it goes over my head, and I’m sure it goes over John’s, but the scientists are excited all the same.”

Rodney’s expression went unreadable for a second, and then he said, “John’s very good at playing dumb. Most of the soldiers I work with are. It’s...irritating.”

After supper, the girls insisted everyone go out to the stables to see the horses and Pegasus the Pony. Ronon was leery of the horses after his last encounter with them, and he hung back, as did Rodney, but Lorne and Dave and John all got in there with the girls, petting the horses and Pegasus and feeding them.

“Pegasus is a great name for a pony,” Lorne said to Anna. “How did you pick it? Did Uncle John help you?”

“No, it was Jonathan,” Anna said.

Lorne went very still. “Who?”

“Jonathan,” Anna said again. “He’s Daddy’s personal assistant. He’s super nice. He treats me like a grown-up, and he sings for me whenever I want. He was the one singing in the video I made for Uncle John.”

“And I liked that video very much,” John said. Kathy knew John and Dave both disliked the theater and opera, but John’s affection was genuine, and he pulled Anna into a brief hug.

Once it got too dark to stay out with the horses, they returned to the living room, where Clara proudly showed off the cumulation of her piano lessons thus far, playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

“You have a beautiful piano,” Rodney said.

“Do you play?” Kathy asked.

Rodney looked down at his hands. “Not in a long time.”

“Music does kind of run in the family,” Dave offered. “John was cooler than me and played the guitar. I took up the violin.”

“Do you still play?” John asked.

Dave nodded at Rodney. “Not in a long time.”

John and his friends cited jet-lag about the same time as the girls’ bedtime, so Kathy and Dave went to put the girls to bed while the men took themselves upstairs. Kathy made sure each girl had a bath and brushed their teeth, but then they asked for bedtime stories and songs from Uncle John and his friends, so Kathy headed up the stairs.

Rodney’s door was open and his room was - unoccupied. Not even his bag was in sight. Ronon’s door was slightly ajar; Kathy could hear running water. Lorne’s door was also slightly ajar, and she could hear him shuffling about. John’s door was closed. Two voices were muffled behind it.

Oh. No wonder John and Nancy hadn’t worked out. Had Dave known? Had Patrick known? Was that why Patrick and John never got along?

Kathy knocked on John’s door.

Both voices went silent. Then there were footsteps, and John pulled the door open a fraction. “Hey, Kathy.”

“The girls were wondering if you’d read them a bedtime story or sing them a bedtime song,” she said. She swallowed hard and reminded herself not to look in the direction of Rodney’s open door.

“Sure, I can do that.” John stepped out of the room, closed the door behind himself. “Truth is, though, I’m not much of a singer. Ronon’s a better singer than me, actually. But I can handle a story. Do they have a favorite?”

He followed Kathy down the stairs to the other family wing, where both girls were waiting in their beds. Clara only heard half a story before she fell asleep. Anna needed a story and half a song before she fell asleep. Kathy hung back and watched John read Clara a book, careful to turn the pages slowly and ask her questions about the pictures before he moved on. The story he told Anna sounded like the plot of a bad scifi show, four explorers who were obviously John, Rodney, Ronon, and some woman traveling to other planets and rescuing children from bad aliens, but Anna adored it. The song John sang was one Kathy had heard Dave sing to the girls before, but one she hadn’t grown up with.

After Anna fell asleep, John sat gazing at her for a moment. Then he stood up, smiled at Kathy. “Sorry you had to put up with my awkward singing. Maybe next time, Ronon will help out.”

“The girls would love that.” Kathy smiled back at him. “Thank you. The girls really appreciate the emails you send.”

“Well, you guys are family,” John said. His gaze went distant. “Being out there taught me what’s important, and that’s family, however you have it.” He yawned. “Oh, wow. Yeah. Pretty lagged. I better hit the hay. See you in the morning, Kathy.”

“Good night, John.”

Kathy had never noticed before, having never seen John in a t-shirt, but he had scars. When he turned away, she noticed one on the side of his throat, and he had pale scars all down his right arm. What had he been through?

*

Kathy woke in the middle of the night. Sometimes she just couldn’t sleep, so she went to check on the girls. Both of them were asleep soundly in their beds, so Kathy meandered into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She’d just about finished it off when she heard a noise. Movement. Upstairs. She paused and listened, winced, prepared for rhythmic creaking coming from John’s room, but no. Just soft footsteps. After a moment’s deliberation, she prowled up the stairs to the guest wing, and saw that John’s door was closed, Rodney’s door was closed, Ronon’s door was closed...but Lorne’s door was ajar, and light was spilling into the hallway.

Kathy tip-toed down the hallway, knocked.

“Who is it?” Lorne asked.

Kathy peeked into his room. He was sitting up on his bed, a sketchpad across his knees, pencils scattered around him. “Is everything all right?”

He blinked. “Oh, hey, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just - jet-lag. My sleep schedule is off. Sheppard and I weren’t on the same shift on base, so I’m doubly jet-lagged.”

“You didn’t wake me,” Kathy said. “What are you drawing?”

Lorne turned his sketchpad around. “The girls, actually.”

Kathy eased the door open and crossed the room, stood beside the bed. She felt a little awkward, because she was just wearing her nightdress and her bathrobe, and Lorne was wearing what looked like uniform pants and a black t-shirt, but then she saw his sketch. “Oh, wow. You’re really good.”

“Thanks. My mom is an art teacher. She trained me and my sister in the basics. My sister’s a tattoo artist, and I just draw in my spare time.” Lorne smiled.

“Do you ever sell your artwork for money?”

“I used to. Haven’t in a while.” Lorne set his sketchbook aside. “Are you sure I didn’t wake you? Because I used to sleepwalk when I was a kid. I went sleepwalking once on base, but that was last year.”

“No, sometimes I can’t sleep,” Kathy said, “and I go check on the girls, and then I heard a noise, so -”

“Yeah, I thought I could navigate this room in the dark, but I was wrong.” Lorne ducked his head, expression rueful.

“How long have you worked with John?” Kathy asked.

“I was assigned as his 2IC about four years ago,” Lorne said.

“So you two know each other pretty well?” Kathy leaned against the bedpost.

Lorne’s gaze turned thoughtful. “Well, for certain values of the word ‘know’. I know he’s brave, and a little reckless, and dogged when he thinks he’s right - and he’s usually right. He’s smarter than he lets on. He’s definitely unorthodox, what with the hair and switching to a non-standard side-arm. But before he asked me to tag along on leave with him, I didn’t know that he had a brother.”

“Do you...do you think he’s ashamed of his family?” Kathy asked.

“No, ma’am. He’s just not the sharing sort. I mean, we’ve been stationed together for four years and McKay still doesn’t know my first name. Granted, he barely knows the last names of half of his own science contingent, so.” Lorne shrugged. “I know I can trust Sheppard to look out for me and our men, and that’s all that really matters. We work together, but we’re not necessarily friends. Ronon and Sheppard are friends, sure. And I know Sheppard and McKay are friends. I think even Ronon and Teyla are friends. And I’m pretty friendly with my own team. But we don’t sit around and have heart-to-hearts. We’re soldiers, ma’am.”

“John’s always been kind of reticent, even before he was a soldier,” Kathy said. “I feel like I don’t know him very well, even after all these years.”

“I think all you need to know about it him is that he’s incredibly brave and self-sacrificing.” Lorne looked down at his hands. “We’ve almost lost him too many times. He’s earned every stripe he’s got with blood and sweat. I’ve served with plenty of fine officers, and I’ve never been more honored than to serve with him.” He looked up at Kathy and caught her gaze, held it. “He’s a good soldier, and a better man.”

Kathy nodded, let those words sink in. “So it’s dangerous, then? What you do?”

Lorne’s gaze turned shifty. “As dangerous as any remote posting in potentially unfriendly territory, ma’am.”

“Will we lose him? Will my little girls lose him?”

“No, ma’am. We’d never let that happen. McKay would definitely never let that happen.”

“Rodney’s not a soldier.”

“Rodney’s brilliance is unparalleled. He knows that. We all know that. What he hasn’t figured out yet is that his bravery is also unparalleled.”

Kathey eyed Lorne. “You have them all figured out, don’t you?”

“It’s my job, ma’am. To know what’s essential to keeping operations running smoothly.”

“What about you?” Kathy asked. “Who has you all figured out?”

Lorne’s gaze went dark and hollow for a second, but then he smiled, bright and enigmatic. “That’s classified, ma’am.”

Kathy straightened up. “Well, thanks for talking to me. I hope your jet-lag eases up soon.”

“No problem. Hope you can sleep.”

Kathy waved and padded out of his room, went back to her bedroom, slipped into bed beside Dave.

The next day, after a hike through the surrounding countryside (that involved Ronon and Lorne giving the girls an unreasonable number of piggyback rides), Kathy went to put the girls in a pre-dinner bath. Tacked to their bedroom walls were sketches - of them riding Pegasus, of John and Rodney and Ronon leaning on the fence and watching them, of Dave and Kathy sitting at the dinner table and laughing. None of Lorne, though. She wondered what else this visit would bring.


End file.
